OMG HUIYI IS HERE IN MY ROOM NOW... AND IT'S 12.52 AM.

WITH BALLOONS AND CANDLES AND A SMUSHED-UP DURIAN BIRTHDAY CAKE (WHICH SHE IS VERY SORE ABOUT... SHE DROPPED IT ON THE CEMENT FLOOR OUTSIDE MY ROOM, WHAT A LOSER). And I had to climb out my room window in order to see the surprise???

:D SO SWEET. BUT SHE'S SUCH A LIAR. SO IS MY MOM, WHO APPARENTLY KNEW HUIYI WAS GOING TO SURPRISE ME SINCE MONDAY! SO SNEAKY, NEVER KNEW MY MOM WAS CAPABLE OF KEEPING SECRETZ.

THANKS GUISE FOR THE MIDNIGHT MESSAGES. I LOVE ALL OF YOU. I AM A HAPPY (BIRTHDAY) GAL.

HA HA HA HA HEE HEE HEE
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME~

I feel like pulling all my hair out.

Okay, scratch that... considering I have no hair.

I feel nervous and uptight, even though I have no reason to be.

Okay, maybe I do.


I'm just going round in circles today.

Listening comprehension was absolutely horrible. I'm refusing to listen to anyone's answers, because I don't want to know that I've failed it miserably (though I know this is pretty much obvious, suspecting something is better than confirming it). I'll just get my grade on the day itself and bawl my eyes out. No, I'm not even banking on a B now. I just want to pass.

School is absolutely horrible. The people who make it better are the ones who are being lashed out on. Maybe it's just speculation, but I don't think it is ... not at this point. My fingers are freezing as I'm typing this, and my stomach is going churn-churn-churn, and I can't even fully express my exasperation disgust general unhappiness with this entire situation being dragged on. I thought we took care of it, and it's being raked up again.

Anyway, Ziying and I are in very similar situations. Like seriously parallel. And we felt the same way about ... people. And we were both depressed. So cheers and a big hug to my relationship buddy (this sounds wrong, but ... you get it, right?), lololol. Except hers is probably resolved by now and I still feel like shit. You, don't be _ anymore. Things will be A-okay!

Conclusion: 2008 = bad year. Very bad year. (I felt like adding something to this, but it's probably not the wisest idea.)

The farmer told our investigator that a humane death by an injection of barbiturate was "too expensive"—even though it costs a mere 30 cents per animal. So he uses a metal noose pole to lift each fox from the cage by the neck, shoves an electric prod into the animal’s rectum and forces a metal conductor into the animal’s mouth. A flip of a switch shoots 240 volts of electricity through the fox’s body.

According to our investigator, "The fox’s eyes usually shut and the body goes rigid. There is a crackling sound … and sometimes teeth break and fall out. … Often the anal probe falls out. When this happens, the fox convulses, shakes, and often cries."

Visit http://www.furisdead.com to read more.

HOW CAN PEOPLE BE SO FUCKING CRUEL. Fucking hell. I came across a few horrible, horrible pictures of skinned animals while clicking through journals. I'm putting them under the cut because they're the kind that will make your stomach churn and the bile rise in your throat. I know not everyone can take this kind of thing. Hell, I nearly gagged and the tears sprang to my eyes immediately, like bam! But they do the job, though. God. I'm so fucking upset now.

( They're hard to stomach but the pictures will really wake you up. )

How can you actually skin an animal alive? Fuck. At least have the decency to kill the animals before you fucking skin them. Oh, oh, oh, oh. They can't even kill them painlessly. ARE ALL THESE PEOPLE COMPLETELY EMOTIONLESS? This makes me hate humans so, so much because of what we're doing. And China is so screwed up when it comes to animal rights. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

I know I can't reach out to that many people but spread if you can, please please please. Awareness can do wonders.

Oh, and I'd really like to know... What the hell is wrong with Sharon Stone? Okay, first she made that crazy insensitive comment about the Sichuan earthquake, next I find out she's wearing enormous fur coats amongst other terrible things to events even after PETA has made 398574375 pleas to try to stop her. Okay, I'll stop rambling, just read this. You've got to love PETA, though... guess what they did?

PETA's President, Ingrid Newkirk, faxed a letter to Stone last week that ties together the comment Sharon made about the earthquake in China ("karma") with the indifference of her fur-wearing ways.

"We are used to the indifference that you flaunt and the callous remarks that you make about the suffering and death of the animals whose fur you wear so often," Newkirk wrote. "Scientific studies suggest that the prefrontal regions of the brains of people who lack empathy might be underdeveloped. Here's our offer: Would you allow PETA to pay for a scan of the prefrontal region of your brain?"

Hah. (:

D'oh, what?

I'm just not getting Physics. Oh, believe me, I'm trying... well, I suppose that's what's worrying me.

This is what I see when I click through Chapter 21, in a desperate attempt to make sense of electricity/ magnetism as some kind of half-assed preparation for SPA next Wednesday. Just thought I'd share. ... So maybe you could feel sorry for me. And hopefully feel better about yourself. I know, I know, Nicole does wonders for the self esteem.

Magnetic flux, soft iron core, catapult... (diagram of god-knows-what with strange arrows sticking out of it) ... Fleming's left hand rule, neutral point, beam of electrons... (diagram of + sign trying to swim through rows of x's) Okay this is where everything starts to fade to black.

O sweet nibbletz!!!1 This really might as well be a completely foreign language I'm attempting to study. D:


P.S. Ignore the previous post, everything's better now. Sorry 'bout the drama. And I currently have the mother of all headaches. Ugh.

You have no right to make me feel this self-conscious, damn it.

I thought about it. You know what? You're absolutely right. I will stop all of this. I will stop this once and for all.

I'm disappointed, and I hate myself because of it.

Indefinite hiatus.